


Still Waters Run Deep

by preciousbunnynoiz



Series: Emotions!!! on Ice [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Love, M/M, care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8586772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Following Yuri's short program at the China Cup Victor isn't used to feeling things deeply and doesn't know how to deal with emotions from others





	1. Afraid of my feelings

**Author's Note:**

> There is a lead up to possible sexy times at the beginning but it goes almost immediately into emotional stuff. Do not expect sexy times.

Victor watched, smiling fondly, as a red-faced Yuri stammered out a few media worthy soundbites to the press directly after receiving those amazing scores.  He was so proud of Yuri he thought his heart was going to burst.

Victor then fell in beside his student as he detached from press and exited towards the waiting area.

“My Yuri! I knew you could do it!” he trilled.

“Mmm.” Yuri’s voice was flat and he didn’t even glance over at his coach. Victor felt the smile slip from his face. It was occurring to him that Yuri, who had been so intense before, had been very cold to him the moment he had stepped off the ice.

“Yuri? Is something wrong?” he asked, stopping the young man with a hand on his arm. Yuri looked at Victor properly and the older man felt a chill. The look in Yuri’s eyes was pure Eros, it was the same as the look he had shot Victor at the beginning of his short program. A confident, daring, highly erotic look that caused a tingle in the base of Victor’s spine.

Victor let his hand drop in surprise only to have it grabbed by Yuri.

“Come here.” The dark-haired skater said as he pulled Victor into the nearby men’s room.

“Yuri?” Victor was flabbergasted but offered no resistance as he was pulled into a stall. Yuri closed and locked the door behind them before reaching up, gently grabbing Victors face with his hands and pulling him into a kiss. Startled but happy Victor returned the kiss which quickly grew feverish as their lips parted and tongues entwined, teasing the inside of each other’s mouths. Yuri’s arms moved to encircle Victor’s neck in a loose embrace. Finally, they broke apart, Victor looked at Yuri’s flushed face and with the hungry look in his eyes.

“You seemed so distant when you got off the ice.” He managed to say, putting voice to his confusion.  Yuri gave a cocky grin in return.

“Well yeah, I was controlling myself because it wouldn’t be good if we did this in front of the cameras.” Yuri laughed.

“Ah…you have a point.” Victor said smiling back and resting his forehead against his lovers.

“So did I succeed?” Yuri asked.  Victor crinkled his brow in confusion.

“Well yeah did you not realise your scores?”

“Not that, did I succeed in seducing you with my own charms?” Yuri asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Ah…that…yeah without a doubt…but to be honest I’ve been seduced by you from the beginning but that performance was something very special.” Victor said with a smile before kissing Yuri again.  The kiss deepened and Victor pushed his brunette lover against the stall door silently cursing that Yuri was still in his costume.  He made a noise of surprise as Yuri’s right hand slipped around his waist and down to grab his ass, pulling him close.

Victor found he liked this aggressive Yuri and felt himself react as they continued to make out like a pair of hormonal teenagers. Yuri then slipped his thigh between Victor’s legs pressed it in the right area to cause the older man to gasp as Yuri’s kisses trailed from his coach’s lips and down the offered neck.

Victor was in trouble and was quickly unravelling under Yuri’s touch.

“Yuri…” he moaned quietly closing his eyes as his lover’s hand roamed freely.

“Didn’t I say not to take your eyes off of me?” Yuri asked in an amused tone.  The silver haired Russian opened his eyes and glared slightly at Yuri.

“Where did you learn to be such a tease?” he complained but without any real feeling behind it. He obviously was enjoying this Yuri.

The younger man ran the fingers of his left hand through his lover’s hair, laughing softly.

“Gee I wonder who I could have learned that from.” He said with an affectionate smile. Victor couldn’t help but smile back, he couldn’t deny he had teased Yuri before.

“I don’t know what flipped your switch today but I think I like this Yuri.” Victor said as he cupped Yuri’s face in his hand and gently ran his thumb over his lips.  The brunette sighed contently and leaned into his touch slightly.

“Better than the usual me?” Yuri asked, his tone was light but there was a silent withdrawal and pain in those wide coffee coloured eyes. Victor moved quickly to hold Yuri’s face in both hands, making sure to keep eye contact.  He didn’t want Yuri to misunderstand what he was about to say at all.

“No.  I love every Yuri you show me.  I love your insecure self, your hardworking self, your confident self, your Eros. I love all of you.” Victor hoped it would be enough. He wasn’t good at reading people or comforting them.  Yuri felt things so deeply.  He didn’t really understand that.  Victor had long ago decided to let things wash over him, he had built a wall of steel around himself and never let himself feel anything too deeply…or at least pretended he didn’t. He didn’t really care about other people because no one really cared about him.  Not the real him but that didn’t work with Yuri.

Yuri didn’t get mad at him for being childish or call him selfish or frivolous. He just accepted that that was who Victor was and he even told him that he didn’t have to be anything other than himself. It had startled Victor but also made him want to be there and care for Yuri. He couldn’t put this into words and didn’t really understand it himself. He was only now becoming aware that he had even built these walls around himself just like Yuri did; similar but also fundamentally different.

To his relief Yuri relaxed and smiled.

“Good. I love all the different Victor’s you show me too.  The silly one, the hard working one, the one who loves his dog so much, the one who gets excited about little things, the one who tries hard as my coach as well as the genius figure skater.” Yuri said.

Victor felt like someone had hit him in the chest. Yuri could always do this; it was like he could see through Victor into his soul. Victor kissed him to hide his confusion and feelings. When he broke the kiss, he stepped back and turned Yuri around.

“People are going to wonder where you are so you should get back to the others and watch the rest of the short programs.” He said firmly.

“Aren’t you coming too?” Yuri asked looking over his shoulder slightly.

“Yes, yes…I just….need a minute.” Victor said pushing Yuri out the stall as soon as he unlocked it.

“Oh…okay.” Yuri seemed confused but not too upset, he reached back and pulled a startled Victor into one more kiss before leaving.  The Russian watched him leave and then went back into the stall and locking the door sat on the toilet and hugged his arms around himself.

He couldn’t get over how Yuri could break past his walls as a silly, childish person to say what he needed to hear and he said it so easily and so clearly from the heart.  He never knew what to say to Yuri or how to comfort him properly.  He listened to Yuri and tried to behave in a way that would make him happy but when he offered the normal things people asked or wanted from him Yuri always refused and asked Victor to just be himself.

Victor realised he perhaps loved his student too much. He didn’t want to mess up this season for Yuri, his career was at stake after all, but he loved him so much and was terrified of messing up his role as coach and ruining things for his lover. It was worse because Yuri was normally nothing but emotions, everything he felt he felt so deeply. Victor didn’t know he lived like that that, the always detached Victor was now starting to understand how painful that must be because this love he held for Yuri had penetrated to the core of his being and spread to fill every part of him.

It was overwhelming.

Victor took a deep breath and stood up leaving the stall to look at himself in the mirror. His face was only a little flushed and he settled his hair before leaving. 

He couldn’t handle this emotion alone. 

He needed Yuri.

He couldn’t tell Yuri how he was feeling but at the very least his heart seemed to calm when he could hold his lover. He found Yuri watching the tv with the others and slipped one arm around his waist the other coming up and around to his shoulder. Yuri didn’t say anything, just brought his own arms up to wrap around Victor’s. The fingers of his right hand entwined with the older man’s as it rested on his stomach.

Victor felt himself calm down. This was becoming natural.  He felt more at ease with his arms around Yuri who just accepted the affection without comment.

Victor didn’t know what was happening to himself but he was changing.

It was fine, as long as Yuri was there it would be fine.


	2. How do I reach him?

Victor could see that Yuri was a mess. He tried to get Yuri to sleep but clearly that hadn’t worked and as time went on he started to panic as well. He knew Yuri got nervous easily but this was way worse than the other times.  A hug didn’t seem possible to fix this.  Feeling desperate he pulled him away to the basement parking lot.  Maybe just maybe if it’s just the two of them he’d calm down.

When he saw Yuri’s face on hearing the crowd yelling for Phitchit Victor felt his chest go tight with panic. Would this break Yuri? He didn’t think and just threw himself at his lover, covering his ears with a shout of “Don’t listen!”

He didn’t understand why Yuri was such a mess.  He was the best skater there, he had proved it with his short program why couldn’t he take confidence from that? His heart ached.  He didn’t know how to make everything okay.

_“How do I motivate Yuri? I have no idea.”_

He remembered the harsh threats that had fired at him in his early days, the threats of what he would lose if he didn’t win or at least reach the podium. Maybe that was the right thing to do as a coach? All his previous coaches had used that method. 

_“Skater’s hearts as fragile as glass, if they’re so fragile…maybe I should shatter his into pieces.”_

“Yuri, if you mess up the free skate and fail to reach the podium.  I’ll take responsibility and resign as your coach.”

He hated himself for saying that but if it motivated Yuri it was okay.

Then Yuri started crying.

“Why would you say something like that, like you’re trying to test me?” Yuri shot back at him.

Oh, crap.  Victor realised then that this was the biggest mistake he had ever made.

“I’m sorry Yuri, I wasn’t serious-“ he began moving towards him in a panic.  He was the worst, the absolute worst.  It had been a stupid plan to begin with.

Then Yuri let him have it yelling how he wasn’t worried about being seen as a failure, that he was used to that but now he was worried about how his failures would reflect on Victor.  When he yelled how he had been wondering if Victor wanted to quit it felt like a physical blow. 

“Of course not!” he said it firmly hoping it would help.

“I know!” Yuri yelled back.

Victor hadn’t expected that.  Yuri actually trusted that Victor wouldn’t leave him but couldn’t stop himself from worrying about the possibility. Victor didn’t understand that and really didn’t know what to do about Yuri crying in front of him.

“I’m not good with people crying in front of me. I don’t know what I should do. Should I just kiss you or something?” that’s the sort of thing people usually wanted from Victor and normally he wouldn’t really have asked but he was so scared of causing Yuri to run away from him and Yuri was already so angry at him.

“No! Just have more faith than I do that I’ll win! You don’t have to say anything just stand by me!” Yuri yelled his face twisted as he sobbed.

Victor felt like the worst person on the planet.  Yuri always said he wanted Victor to be Victor, he didn’t want anything more than for Victor to be there for him and he had fucked up so badly and made Yuri cry. 

Victor couldn’t look at Yuri as they made their way to the rink.  He had failed him as a coach and as a boyfriend. He didn’t deserve this person.

He held out the tissues for Yuri who blew his nose.  His eyes were red from crying and they didn’t speak.  He caught the ball of tissues as they fell and was surprised by the touch on the top of his head and remembered the last time Yuri had done that, the touch changed to pat and Victor looked up at Yuri in astonishment as he skated away.  Was he done being mad? Is that what the touch was for?

As Yuri began the routine he realised the brunette was smiling as he moved across the ice. Smiling after all that had happened.  Victor really didn’t understand that…but he was even more amazed that Yuri, who hadn’t slept, been a nervous wreck all day and had only just now been bawling his eyes out skated so well.  There were a few hiccups but it was all so beautiful, he seemed relaxed and at ease as he moved with the grace that had first attracted Victor to him.

Then the final quad…he changed it to a flip and Victor felt his jaw drop.  Once more Yuri had surprised the hell out of him. He felt like crying and covered his face because he tried to keep composed at all times but now it was a mess of emotions.  Calming himself down he took off, he needed to show Yuri how much he loved him.

Right now.

He was running around the rink and getting to the entrance as Yuri, ecstatic, skated towards him with his arms wide for a hug. Unable to resist he threw himself forward and kissed his lover without a care about the fact that they were doing this in front of the entire world.

It was only a short kiss, moving his head before they hit the ice.

He said something about wanting to surprise Yuri and was met with a look of pure love and a soft “Really?” before leaning down to kiss him again tenderly.

They managed to get off the ice somehow and holding hands were delighted to learn that Yuri had gotten Silver. 

They fielded a few press questions, with Victor directing the topic back to Yuri’s skating and away from their relationship with his usual confidence and press smiles. The other skaters didn’t comment much other than Phitchit joking that between them they took PDA to a new level and Georgi commenting that love was a lie as they held hands and generally acted disgustingly lovey dovey.  But it wasn’t like anyone was surprised, it’s not like they had exactly hidden the fact that they were going out before this from the rest of the skaters anyway.

They made their way back to the hotel room, holding hands and revelling in the fact that they didn’t have to hide their feelings for each other in public as now the world would know.

They spoke to Yuri’s mom who was not at all surprised and told them the rest had eventually calmed down.

As they lay curled up together on the bed with Victor draped over Yuri, his head on his lover’s chest so he could listen to his heartbeat Victor finally voiced what was still bothering him.  Maybe it wasn’t necessary now but he needed to say it.

“I’m sorry Yuri. I’m sorry I screwed up so badly. I wanted to be a good coach but did exactly the wrong thing. I think I was just really worried about screwing up and causing you to fail and then I did screw up but you did marvellously despite me.” He said quietly. Yuri laughed causing Victor to lift his head and look at his lover.

“So I was worried about screwing up and embarrassing you and you were afraid of screwing up and causing me to fail?” Yuri asked amused, “So basically we were worried more about the other person then ourselves. Yeah you did screw up, but it worked out in the end. I think it’s good I can cry at you when I’m stressed. I don’t normally cry in front of other people.  However, don’t do that shit again. If you do I won’t forgive you.” Yuri warned.

“I won’t I promise!” Victor said firmly holding Yuri tighter. Yuri sighed contently and pet his hair.

“Go to sleep Victor. We’ve got a long flight tomorrow.” He said sleepily.

Victor nodded and rested his head on Yuri’s chest again, feeling his breathing as it evened out and listening to his heart beat. He closed his eyes and was quickly drifting off, exhausted by the emotional events that day but glad that Yuri still loved him and had forgiven him. He was even happy Yuri had told him off, it helped him understand Yuri a bit more. He still didn’t understand how to read people properly or comfort them but he understood Yuri better and that was all he needed.

He let himself fall asleep then, the comforting warmth from Yuri filling his entire being.


End file.
